Ventilation and Hubris

Okay, I am seriously feeling the need to explain something to the general public, and I'm fairly certain that you're not going to like it.

I work for a local hobby retailer, and while I love my job, I have to say that there is one phrase that I am getting sick to death of hearing. It's a phrase that every time it's said by some blank-faced, wide-eyed parent that couldn't tell their ass from applesauce, I smile ruefully and proceed to tell them as polite as possible that they are in the wrong store.

"What do you have in here for a 3 year old? They are really advanced."

I cringe even writing it. I can hear it in a multitude of voices within my head, and honestly, it's maddening. I really, really wish people would stop and use some common sense before entering my store. I know we look like a toy store at a glance, but I promise you, we aren't a goddamn toy store. That's another 3 shopping centers south on the Pike.

When one enters my shop, they will find remote control cars going ridiculous speeds out of the box, they will find remote control helicopters and airplanes that are fun and yet difficult to fly. I have model kits of all kinds. And for those, we have all the glues and paints that you use to put them together. We even have trains of all different kinds. Hell, we even have model rockets that go over 1000 feet in the air.

Does any of this strike you as merchandise that was built with a toddler in mind? My store is NOT for your children unless they are ten or above. I carry absolutely nothing age appropriate for children of that age.

Further, I'd love to know what makes you think your child is "advanced." The fact that they can put together Lego kits? That doesn't mean anything, really, other than the fact that they can follow simple directions. That doesn't mean they can fly a $500 helicopter, okay? Your child is probably just as dumb as you are.