Now that I have your attention, let me explain, and try to avoid what is known as "mainsplaining" as much as I possibly can with my admittedly infantile knowledge of the movement as a whole. The best place that I can think of to start is the beginning.
Before I came to understand the Feminism movement as a whole, I, like many of you who would actually read this thing probably have/do, pictured a Feminist as something like this:
So, anyways. I wasn't ever exactly directly disrespectful towards women. Not knowingly, anyway. Thing is, I was a huge fucking asshole and never even realized it.
Up until running into a string of true Feminists - and not the loud ones that are just using Feminism as an excuse to spew hatred and ruining it for everybody else - who all blasted me for being a chauvinist, I had always considered myself "old-fashioned" in my dealings with women. Without ever realizing it, the way I dealt with women as a whole, from simple mannerisms as opening doors (more later this post, if I don't get too sidetracked) right down to the way that I would talk with them, was all perpetuating a gender role within society. "Old-Fashioned" is really just another way of saying "I'm stuck in a culture of prejudice."
Gender roles are, briefly, for those that aren't already in the know and somehow can't divine what I'm talking about when I say that term simply by how it's worded, are ways in which the system of privilege that our society currently operates on oppresses us into filling certain niches. Women are widely "known" to be the weaker of the two sexes, being far too emotional to think rationally or critically, and are therefore relegated to their gender roles of caretakers. Men are supposed to be the providers in our little system that we've constructed for ourselves. And by we, I mean men.
You see, any woman working in the professional world - regardless of its area - will tell you about the inequality that they face on a regular basis in the work environment. The facts, no matter how you want to view them, are still the facts. Specifically, men earn more than women, on average. Granted, there are a ton of variables that can explain these disparities, but at the end of the day, the numbers are what the numbers are.
"But wait a second, Rob!" you might say. "Women make choices differently than men do! There has to be some kind of explanation as to differences of jobs taken versus money earned!" And you'd be right to bring that up. It's been touched on before, and I'm sure you're still more than welcome to perform some digital necromancy on an old thread to throw in your two cents. But before that, I'd highly recommend getting to and reading very carefully paragraphs 5 and 6 in that article, and tell me what the problems are.
Here's a hint: There are men and women who do exactly what she describes in both paragraphs. For example, there are plenty of female prison guards throughout the country, even though it is still a male-dominated work environment. Every single thing that this woman writes while describing what men "gravitate" towards is just noise. That's all it is. She's doing nothing but perpetuating this system.
To make matters worse, as a society, we accept this, for the most part. Seriously. Just pay attention. How often do you hear someone make a joke at women's expense? Here's a good one: "Of course she didn't realize she just cut me off. She's a woman." Implying that because she's a woman, she inherently isn't observant enough to drive or had any business driving to begin with. This is a problem that goes by usually with a chuckle, but if you're perceptive enough, rarely ever in earshot of a woman (unless it's said in actual jest, but still).
Or, perhaps more recently, the debacle that was Seth MacFarlane's performance at the Oscar's. In a room full of talented women who worked hard to get to where they are today, and in an industry that is notorious - and even famous - for being a town full of misogynistic jerks with their heads so far up their own asses that their entire diet consists of the fecal matter that spews from their mouth. The last thing they need is to be reminded that millions of people everywhere saw their naked bodies. We're not talking even Feminism at this point, either. We're crossing the realm into the outright absurd amount of disrespect that we are constantly throwing at each other.
Don't get it? Well, think of it this way: We've all done things in our lives that we're not exactly proud of, but we do have our own justification for doing so. Do you ever appreciate someone bringing those things up to you, especially at a formal event? Then why would you accept it from someone else? Just because the guy is famous for acting like a 12 year old, you do need to keep in mind at all times that he is famous for acting like a fucking 12 year old.
As I mentioned earlier, the image of the stereotypical Feminist stands out in both sight and sound. Understand that these, truly, only make up a very small percentage of the Feminist population, from what I've seen. It's like comparing Westboro Baptist Church to all of Christianity and saying that they are good examples. They represent the extreme minority, and don't even come close to accurately depicting what their beliefs really are, choosing instead to use them as a conduit to spread a doctrine of hatred and intolerance.
Makes a little more sense now, doesn't it?
Look, I'm not asking you all to agree with me. What I'm asking you to do is maybe consider the idea that maybe, just maybe, there is perhaps more to this Feminism thing than just topics that make you uncomfortable talking about. If that's the case - and truly the case - then don't talk about it. You can easily find comprehensive literature from professional Feminists. Otherwise, at least consider that Feminism is, at it's very core, an idea of equality for all.
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