Celebrations

For those of you that don't know, I am currently in California, on an extended vacation that had a mission, not to mention the time needed with Donna and the opportunity to unwind.

The mission: Find a job, and secure housing. This mission has been half-way successful, as I have secured gainful employment out here.

Incidentally, this is just one of many fortunate events that have been happening lately, though, regrettably, I cannot talk about all of them to their full extent and will instead choose to not talk about them at all. That's not the point, though. The point is that I have been blessed greatly, and I am seizing the opportunity that I hear knocking.

Today - also incidentally - is the day that I celebrate yet another year of somehow managing to avoid an act of stupidity on such a grand scale as to kill myself. Yes, it is my 27th birthday, and I am spending it with some really good friends.

That being said, I feel the need to express my viewpoint on the traditional views of birthdays, how they are celebrated, and so on.

Oddly enough, this is where I start to get into trouble.

The current tradition of celebrating one's birthday is something that we are indoctrinated in to from an early age. We are taught from day one that the day that only amounts to either what I said at worst, or, at best, the day that marks your anniversary of your exodus from the womb.

My problem with this is that we are taught how to be selfish from an early age, fed by the illusion that you are deserving of material desires simply because you didn't die some how for another year. This isn't really what I would call healthy, as the path of the Fear starts with selfishness, usually. While there are, admittedly, other routes to it, the most traveled is the one of the selfish prick.

I admit that I wanted stuff growing up as a kid, but in my defense, who the hell doesn't? We were kids. There isn't a kid alive right now that wouldn't take a toy if you told them nobody had to pay for it, and there wasn't any harm in taking it. Congratulations! Here's a prize, just for standing there!

That being said, it starts to give the unchecked a sense of entitlement. Tie this into the fact that kids are being told more and more at such a young age that they are special, ad nauseum, you can connect the dots to people becoming more selfish and more materialistic than what is necessary.

Growing up, I started to connect these dots. I weaned myself off, slowly, by asking for less and less each year. It got to the point that by the time I was in my late teens, I wouldn't ask for much of anything beyond requesting a specific kind of dinner to my mother, who would usually oblige if it were possible on the short notice I am apt to give.

I have always hated the ideas of the traditional birthday party, because it only enforces the idea that you are somehow special or important for a single day for nothing more than standing there and existing. I know the idea is comforting to some, that they can have at least one day a year of some sort of significance, but I honestly believe that they are missing the point.

I believe that the point of a birthday is to celebrate, absolutely, but not exactly overtly. One should take the time through the day to reflect on what it is that they have accomplished in the past year. After all, each year we make it through without the Universe unfolding in a way that kills us, we become stronger, wiser, and, smarter.

Hopefully, anyway.

People always look at me funny when I tell them that my birthday is just another day to me. That's because it is. The only thing that I treat differently about it is that I take time to think about what all I have done in the past year, and assess on how I feel about it. I look at it from all angles, my mind some times going to darker places, but I find it necessary. I look at everything I've done - achievements, advances, mistakes, and so on - and examine it and learn from it what I can.

When I have a birthday, I absolutely want to be around other people, but it's only people that I feel like being around. That's pretty much any other day for me, and the fact that I choose one troupe over another is absolutely nothing personal against anybody that wasn't there. The reason is because to me, it's just another day.

This makes it awkward, though, when I'm in a situation like I am as I write this. People feel as if they should go out of their way to give me some sort of special treatment, and I feel weird accepting it. I don't expect special treatment on my birthday, because special treatment of any kind makes me feel dirty, somehow.

I'm not saying that everyone should take it to that extreme, but I would posit that everybody could use a revaluation of their current philosophies on birthdays. Presents are fine, and I'm not saying that you should give it all up. I tend to take my philosophies to the absolute limit, but that's mostly because of my personality.

What I am saying is that instead of expecting people to go out of their way to be nice to you, or acknowledge your presence, realize that this is a time for more internal celebration than external. Be around people that would make you feel most relaxed at the time, or good, or whatever positive emotion you enjoy the most, and just exist and reflect. Celebrate for yourself that you have lived another year, and look forward to another one.

The Adventure takes us many places on this coil. There are far too many things to see and do, conversations to have and people to meet all along the way that it just isn't worth it to be selfish. It only leads to the Fear, and that's not where you want to be.

Or I could really just be a sociopath.