Apples and Oranges

Often times, I confuse people. I understand how I can be confusing. My style of writing is a far cry from how I speak on a day-to-day basis. My actions are the kind that often leave people wondering "What the hell?" I know for a fact that there are many out there who, after my novelty wears off and they realize that it's not really an act, cannot stand me. I understand this, but I will not offer any apologies for it.

Back in April, I went into extensive detail about the way that I am, in hopes that some people would derive a better understanding of how my mind works. I also touched a bit on the fact of why I love writing so much. I have since tried to continue with this trend, using the blessing of anonymity that the Internet provides as a way to really let people take a look inside.... hence the title of the blog itself.

For those that don't know, I like to consider myself an avid gamer. While I'm sure that whatever credibility I have built up has gone right out the window for some people with that statement, I assure you that this entry has very little to do with video games. I'm honestly not sure what to talk about tonight, and am just kind of... going with it.

I read this blog on a regular basis. The things that Pojut talks about interest and intrigue me. I'm sure that many of you can get some enjoyment out of it, as well. The things that he talks about certainly warrant their own discussions in and of themselves, as often times I find this man's ramblings rather inspirational.

So, it is in this spirit that I figured I would give a shot at writing something meaningful about something that's equally meaningless. Maybe about how apples are better than oranges. You see, I personally believe that, if done correctly, a rant such as this could show how important reasoned decision-making is, even when the stakes are low.

Interestingly enough, this is where I end up getting into the most trouble with my peers. You see, when you put what is generally labeled as "deep thought" into the nature of our very existence, people tend to react with "Ah, yes. Deep thoughts are good." However, when you put it into something that most people consider meaningless, they turn on you like rabid hyenas.

I've always come from the approach that there's no such thing as "over-thinking." There's poor reasoning and timorousness which can cause people to mistrust their thinking, thus believing that over-thinking can be a bad thing. The reality of this situation, as I see it, is that it's just bad over-thinking that's horrible. The main problem is that people simply don't know the difference.

I've noticed, for example, with my detached observation, that people park stupid. Whenever I go to any destination that whimsy carries me, I often see people driving around, desperately seeking that "good" parking space. The problem, however, is they only really look in the two lanes in front of the door. Invariably, they'll end up parking father out by relying on those two lanes than if they parked three lanes over. It's almost as if they have poor spatial reasoning.

When I park, I always do it fairly close to the door. I do it because of the fact that in certain regions, this kind of thing could very well be a survival requirement. I never have to follow cars around the parking lot, and I generally get the same spot every single time. At the local mall, I have this great spot - I have to walk through a department store rather than going through the main entrance, but it's a small price to pay when one considers the expediency of such a space. It has shade, it's close to the door, has very little traffic, and is typically always available, except for the chaotic time of the year that is the holidays.

"But, dude," you might say. "It's just a parking space."

I figure that's the kind of reaction I would get out of most of the people who are reading this. They would be correct. It is just a parking space, and nothing of any real consequence whatsoever. You walk maybe an extra hundred and fifty feet by choosing poorly. However, it's like the people who go through the mall food court rather than around it, preferring to move dozens of chairs and other furniture out of the way while navigating through throngs of people rather than taking a path that is essentially equidistance without the obstacles. The shortest path between two spots isn't always a straight line, but who cares? You move a few chairs and have to say "excuse me" a few times. It's not the end of the world.

The only way that I can think of to respond to that is to say that you can't fault someone for thinking about the problem any more than I can fault someone for not thinking about it. It may not be important, but there is a better solution and I don't exactly have to whip out a calculator to figure it out. You've probably timed two or more different routes driving hoe and that's no more important than where and how you park.

I go to movie theaters to watch the films. It's rarely ever a group thing, and I expect complete silence from those around me, because I really like being drawn into a movie if it manages to spark my interest. Granted, this event rarely occurs these days, but when it does, I can't do it when some moronic child whose parents can't control it is mindlessly throwing popcorn at the screen and screaming "In bed!" after nearly every line.

I used to ask the talking audience member to be quiet. I kind of stopped doing so when after one day, it nearly lead to violence to my person. I wasn't being particularly impudent or even querulous in my request. Just goes to show exactly what kind of savages I find myself around on a disturbingly regular basis.

That being said, I've had to figure out a way to go and see movies that involve having the smallest number of audience members of the obnoxious sort. It really only takes one guy to ruin the experience for everybody, but if you consider the times you go, you can reduce the odds.

For instance, don't go at night - especially Friday or Saturday nights. That's the "witching hour" for dates, and also when the theater is most busy. The earlier you go, the less people are there. People have jobs and the ones that don't probably don't actually wake up until the afternoon, anyway. Going during a weekday at the earliest time is your best chance at a small, quiet audience - unless you're going to see a kids movie. Then you go at the latest possible showing, when it's past their bed-time.

The type of movie makes a huge difference, as well. Something like Star Wars can be watched at any time because everything in that movie makes a loud sound. The best part is, when there isn't a loud sound, there's loud music. You don't even have to follow the dialog that much. However, there are movies with a lot of silence, such as suspense films. It's difficult to build suspense as people see quietness as the perfect juncture to converse. When there is a difference between loud and quiet, they'll talk loudly during the quiet parts because they were talking loudly during the other parts, and probably have hearing issues. That, or they're just plain stupid.

The best movies to go to are the ones that don't bring out in droves the mindless automatons that now comprise a vast majority of America's youth and idiotic adults. Find something with subtext and/or subtitles. Either will drive away scores of people you'd rather not watch the movie. Of course, be careful with the subtitle thing. Sometimes, you get the ignoramus behind you that insists on reading them aloud. I had that problem with "Kung Fu Hustle," "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," and a few others. I'd like to discuss which theater to go to, but I'd really rather not get into all of that.

It used to be that every movie I planned to watch in the theater required a unique formula for deciding exactly when the best showing would be to attend. I swear to you that going to the movies for me these days requires charts and spreadsheets. I don't go to movies hardly at all anymore due to financial issues. Besides, let's face it... when the DVD version comes out three months later, it turns out cheaper than the price of tickets, refreshments, etc. Sometimes, waiting is just worth it.

So, that's how something so simple as choosing when to go to a movie can become a mental struggle. I honestly have more fun thinking about abstract problems, but it's not like I can just turn it off when it comes time to have fun. This is how I have fun. If I see a movie and don't spend some quality time afterwards thinking about it, I consider it a waste of my time. Luckily, my thought process doesn't really require the movie to be any good.

Shutter Island is, of course, the only exception to this. That movie bored me within the first fifteen minutes.

And now... sleep. That's where I'm a pirate, after all.