So, after much deliberation and procrastination, I have decided to finally get around to talking about Edward Snowden.
Edward. Fucking. Snowden.
If, for some reason, you aren't familiar with this guy, Google has about 530 million results to choose from, and from all political slants. Take your pick and catch up. We'll wait. Alternately, he has own Wikipedia page.
We good? Good.
Snowden is, depending on whom you ask, a traitor or a hero. I have read about this man that I know nothing about whatsoever from various sources. I have read the ballad-like entries of left-leaning bloggers to the apoplectic, almost psychotic, ravings from the right. You know some shit has been stirred, through, when Glenn Beck throws a curveball of this magnitude.
So, I guess the question that should be addressed is: Where do I stand on this? Is Snowden a whistleblower? A hero? A traitor who needs to be put to death? Before we can really answer this, though, there are a few things that we need to ascertain, not the least of which is drawing clear lines between Snowden and Bradley Manning (who, I feel is prudent to note, only has a paltry 189 million search results on Google).
What Manning did was, in my mind, incredibly stupid. He made available information that seriously jeopardized the lives of our troops and ambassadors. He put into public view information that our enemies could have used (and most likely happily did so) to evade efforts of apprehension. While I can't really knock his reasoning for doing what he did, that doesn't mean that I have to agree with the means to his end. Even if the judge isn't buying the entire story of the prosecution. He really should have tried harder than two sources before dumping to WikiLeaks.
Before I go any further, let me clarify something specifically for Julian Assange: You are an asshole of a greater caliber than I. You can consider that either a compliment, or an insult, because I'm seriously not sure of it myself.
Now, what Snowden did was something entirely different. Yes, it's similar in the sense that he leaked information that was considered to be classified to a source who then turned the public eye towards the issues raised. The difference, however, is that Snowden did nothing more than confirm something that we already kinda figured was going on, anyway. That video is from 2010, by the way. I could probably find earlier, but to keep up with the current trend, here's some Google results.
To call Snowden a traitor, I think, is rather extreme. Is he a criminal? Oh, hell yes, he is. There is absolutely zero debate in that regard. He broke the law - not to mention his government contract, essentially guaranteeing nothing but fast food employment here on in - and definitely needs to answer for that. However, I don't believe he is a traitor. Espionage isn't really what I would call it, either. All he did was cause the American government embarrassment. That's hardly enough to warrant the poisonous rhetoric, much less recommendations of Dick Cheney. Even the reaction of John McCain is entirely unwarranted.
Now, let's take a look at the facts, and then we'll arrive at what, I feel, is a logical conclusion reached by the facts, and the facts alone.
First and foremost, cellphone users are apparently too stupid for privacy in the eyes (or ears, as it were) of our "government." According to a federal judge - that I should remind you is paid off our tax dollars - if you are willing to pick up your cell phone and turn it on, then you are automatically waiving your Fourth Amendment. In the exact words of New York Magistrate Judge Gary Brown himself: "Given the ubiquity and celebrity of geolocation technologies, an individual has no legitimate expectation of privacy in the prospective of a cellular telephone where that individual has failed to protect his privacy by taking the simple expedient of powering it off."
"But... but.... that's not right! Surely the liberal Democrats have our backs in this!" you might say. Well, Billy, are you ever wrong! Both parties are actually 100% A-Okay with this entire system! As a matter of fact, days after the leak, Republican Saxby Chambliss (probably the douchiest name ever) and Democrat Dianne Feinstein both outraged against Snowden and his actions, and actually stood in support of the NSA! How about that?
Now, it's not exactly a secret that this isn't exactly the first time that our government has been exposed when it comes to spying on us. Hell, we had almost the exact same scandal not even ten years ago. The problem is that we're too focused on some incredibly dumb shit and we shouldn't even care about it. These things have absolutely no merit in our day to day lives. I get why people would want to watch the white trash stereotype perpetuate itself - particularly after being enlightened to the idea of white privilege - but I cannot fathom why anybody would actually care about the birth of a new generation of people that our forefathers fought against to free us from tyranny, and bring us to the great nation that we're supposed to be.
When the founders of this great nation first drafted the Constitution, they did it to free us from tyranny. They did it to keep us from the very things that are happening in our government right now. What they are doing to us with this NSA thing isn't what they would have wanted. Any person who can look at me and honestly say otherwise.... well, I can't imagine such a person exists.
Especially if they understand that, despite government assurance, they most certainly are using data collected against Americans. This alone should tell you what they're intending on using it for. You think you're safe from this? You're not. And the fact that we even caught wind of this is because we were suddenly looking for it. Why were we looking for it, though?
Edward Snowden.
I understand why many people would jump to the conclusion that he is a traitor, though. He flew to Hong Kong. Now, that's actually very, very important. Hong Kong, despite popular belief, isn't really a part of China, anymore. It's more what you would call a Chinese territory, much like how we consider Puerto Rico and the Caribbean Islands are territories of the United States. The difference, if it isn't already obvious, is that they are entirely autonomous from the controlling lands. Well, in the spirit of accuracy here, Hong Kong is more semi-autonomous versus fully so, but the point does remain that Hong Kong is not China. If he really wanted to sell our information to the enemy and really betray the country, don't you think Beijing would have been the more logical place to go for such an action? You can't tell me that they wouldn't have welcomed him with open arms. Instead, he went to the place that would have bought him the most time to plan his next move.
That move ended up being Moscow, but by the time he landed, his travel papers were no longer valid. It's not as if he wanted to end up there. I'm almost positive that he was hoping to beat the clock and head into either Havana or Ecuador, where his American money dollars would have stretched a lot further than they would in Russia. I admit that this speculation stems from what I would do were I in his position. However, his luck gambling ran out and he ended up in Russia, of all places.
As many news sources have pointed out (see earlier link to Snowden search results - a few are on the front page), it's not like Russia is an ideal place to be for anybody, least of all an exile. Yes, Russia granted him asylum for one year, but what then? There are only two reasons why Putin would pull such a move, that I can see.
1) He simply couldn't resist giving the United States a black eye. Given our current role on the global stage, we aren't exactly very well-liked by anybody right now. When the people that you call your allies are keeping relations with your enemies, you know you're in a bad spot. And our few allies that weren't mad at us are - on an official capacity, anyway - outraged at the fact that we are also spying on them. Combine this with the rapidly deteriorating relations between Russia and the United States, add in a bit of Cold War mentality, and have a desperate expat with classified information about the inner-workings of the United States, and you've got one hell of an opportunity to make America the Brave a complete fool. What Communist dictator could possibly resist?
2) He really, really wants that information. Let's not forget that he's a Communist dictator who has proven that he has very little regard for anything but his own motives, time and again. Various violations to basic human rights, as well as lots of oppression towards the LBGT community (though that might be a play from America's book), doesn't exactly paint a pleasant picture of what is most likely in store for Snowden. If Putin gets all Cold War on him, Snowden is going to wish that we caught him instead. Again, for the sake of clarity, Vladimir Putin is a fucking Communist dictator who clearly is out of fucks to give. If he decides that he wants what Snowden has in its entirety, you can be damned sure that he's going to get it. To what ends he'll use it is anybody's guess, because he really is nothing if not unpredictable.
So, where do I really stand with Edward Snowden? I personally think that he's a hero. He's a criminal, sure, but he's a damned heroic one. I have done my best to explain the facts, as I see them, and provide you with the sources I used to get to my conclusions.
At the end of the day, you can feel how you want about Snowden. I won't hold it against you. Just remember that without people like him - or rather, his courage - we wouldn't have the great nation that we do. He took a look at something that was happening to his fellow man and said "No, this will not do." He took a stand. He did something that many people do not: What he felt was right, and what's more, is he owned up to it. Feel him a traitor. Consider him a coward. Lift him up as a hero. Do what you will. But be sure to give him the respect that he deserves in the sense that he did what he felt was right, regardless of what it's going to cost him.
Wednesday, August 07, 2013
Monday, July 29, 2013
Ad Hoc, Ad Nauseum, or The 13th Step
Before we start, I'd like to apologize for not giving this blog the attention that it deserves. I've been quite busy in life outside of the Blue Nowhere, what with getting engaged and now studying to take my LSAT exam in a desperate attempt to claw my way out of lower-class mediocrity. Also, work.
That being said, we're just going to jump right in to the hot-button topic that has been getting under my skin. I know that there's a lot of different things to talk about going on right now, from where I stand on the issue of Trayvon Martin (I'm not touching this subject with a ten-foot pole on this blog) to the latest scandal of the White House (too many jokes, not enough words in the English language), all the way to what I feel about Edward Snowden (maybe later). But that's not what we're talking about today. Today, we're going to revisit the topic of addiction, and how I feel about it.
This won't be the first time that I've railed against modern-day addiction "treatments" on this blog. Nor will it be the last, most likely. Not unless shit changes, and fast.
Now, as I say this, I want and need you all to understand something: I am an addict. I am also a former addict. How can this be, you ask? Simple. I have an addiction to nicotine that I am currently a slave to, but I've also kicked various other addictions in the past, including cocaine.
"But, Rob," you might say. "You are always going to be an addict! There is no getting better!"
Wrong.
The modern-day approach to treating addiction is exactly what causes people to say that, and what's worse is that they honestly believe every single syllable. This is a problem, because the programs that we force addicts in to and provide for those that truly want to get better are crap. I have said before that all they do is wear down a person's self-worth and convince them that they are sick and that there is no getting better. This is only half-true, and it's directly their fault. They talk up the first 12 steps of recovery (which, I might add, are designed to convert people into Christianity), but constantly neglect to mention the 13th step, which is as follows: Get the fuck over it.
You see, addiction is not the problem with those that develop it. Indeed, it is their attempt to solve the problem that leads to the addiction to begin with. If you cannot understand this simple concept, then you have no business attempting to lead others down the path of recovery yourself. It just cannot be done effectively.
Listen: I started doing various drugs and consuming more alcohol than what could be considered safe - much less reasonable - because I had a hole in my life. A big one. And I filled it with what was easily and readily available at any and all hours of the day: Substances.
I grew up as a social outcast. I had just two friends until I hit high school. I was that weird kid at recess who was never asked to join the soccer games or the kickball matches, or even to come play on the monkey bars. Even those regarded as the nerds and other rejects ostracized me. You all know the kid that I'm talking about. Hell, some of you might even be "that kid." That was totally me, and let me tell you, it fucking sucked.
Now, things didn't exactly get better for me until many moons later. Before then, I had to deal with my share of the shit that life shovels into your face if you dare come above ground for longer than it takes to get a breath of precious fresh air. I was taken away from my home (but only after the physical abuse ended), and ended up experiencing things that no child should ever have to endure. By the time that fiasco was done, I was a very angry and callous child. I wanted nothing to do with anybody. I had to come to terms with the fact that I was a damaged individual, and at the ripe old age of 11. To make matters worse, those that I went to school with regarded me as a ghost or some other kind of supernatural phenomenon that was better to be talked about in private circles than out in the open. It was disconcerting, to say the least.
It wasn't long before I started using escapism to cope. My choice to follow the path of addiction came subtly, at first, and it wasn't what you expect. Then again, what in life is?
Anyway, my first addiction was books. It changed - rather rapidly - from wanting only science fiction to branching out to mainstream and independent fiction, to start dabbling in literature and non-fiction, making the final leap into philosophy. I was - and still am - a voracious reader. It's not strange to find me reading two or more books at a time (I prefer a different book for each week day, in case you're curious). It was the final leap into the more... shall we say "exploratory" philosophers such as Timothy Leary and Terence McKenna that things took a turn that was awkward, and yet incredibly fun.
My very first drug was acid. I know it's not your typical gateway drug, but let me tell you: it was one hell of a gateway. After my very first experience - trying a mere two hits - I was fascinated. The connections that your mind can make after being introduced to that very special plane that one can only get after ingesting psychedelics.... well, that's another post for another time, not to mention that possible inappropriateness of unintentionally advocating the usage of psychoactive ingredients in a post that talks about getting over addiction.
So, after realizing that everything that I had learned about pretty much anything at all was complete and utter bullshit (yes, this is how I felt at the time that everything spiraled), I started experimenting with just about anything. To date, the only substances I haven't tried are (intelligently) the experimental ones that supposedly mimic the effects of the real thing, crack, and heroin. Rotten stuff, every one on that list, and any wise man would do well to stay far the hell away.
Anyway, so my addiction to escapism started to go. Soon, though, it became an addiction to the feeling of disconnect that comes with any form of intoxication. I was unknowingly trying to fill the hole in my life that was left there through not only the circumstances of upbringing and being practically friendless, but also my unwillingness to accept the fact that I was the one who put myself into this position to begin with due to my incapability of seeing how I could have done things different to better not only my situation, but myself, as well.
As addicts tend to be, I eventually went overboard. I developed a nasty habit with cocaine - a self-indulgent drug if there ever was one - and we all know the story from there. As much as I hate to say it, I became the stereotype coke head who couldn't handle it. Lost the girlfriend, the job, the home, the friends.... all that good stuff that we constantly take for granted.
A lot of people don't know this, but I went through the 12 steps. Not through any stupid organization that is meant to do nothing but perpetuate its own existence, but through the sheer power of God and the free will that He gave to all of us.
I'm not going to preach at you here, because again: That's not what this is about.
And, I think because I have done it this way, I realize that there is, indeed, a 13th step of getting over yourself, and now that the preamble is out of the way, we can get down to the real meat of the discussion.
My addictions - save for nicotine - various as they were, are a thing of my past. I realized something that I don't believe is possible in the "treatments" that we're forcing legitimately sick people into, and that's what the root cause of all of my problems was me. It wasn't something that I'm genetically predisposed to (something that a leading addiction medicine specailist is calling bullshit on anyway) or that I was a victim of circumstance or any of that other nonsense that people spout when it comes to this nonsense. At the end of the day, the problem was myself, and my inability to cope with terrible things that happened in my life, since I had very little in the way of being taught proper coping mechanisms, instead being allowed to indulge in other escapist behaviors that eventually led to drugs and their invariable abuse.
To anybody who has been/currently is in the "treatment" programs, let me ask you: How often do they ask you about your past? Your trauma?
And then we wonder why our current systems continue to fail, time and again. They are absolutely refusing to address the real causes of the problems that people are having. Rather than helping the addict travel the proper path to recovery, the one where there is a 13th step, they choose instead to take them down the path of those that are feeble. Rather than giving them the strength to face their trauma and get over it and realize that drugs or alcohol or sex or goats or newspapers or what-the-hell-ever is not the answer that they're looking for, and that depending on such things as a way to deal with it is not going to give them the peace that they seek.
Instead, they lie and cheat and manipulate those attending into thinking that they are worthless scum who will never get better. They choose instead to keep these people from getting better, truly, and brainwash them instead. And what's worse? Everyone thanks them for it.
My name is Rob, and I was an addict.
That being said, we're just going to jump right in to the hot-button topic that has been getting under my skin. I know that there's a lot of different things to talk about going on right now, from where I stand on the issue of Trayvon Martin (I'm not touching this subject with a ten-foot pole on this blog) to the latest scandal of the White House (too many jokes, not enough words in the English language), all the way to what I feel about Edward Snowden (maybe later). But that's not what we're talking about today. Today, we're going to revisit the topic of addiction, and how I feel about it.
This won't be the first time that I've railed against modern-day addiction "treatments" on this blog. Nor will it be the last, most likely. Not unless shit changes, and fast.
Now, as I say this, I want and need you all to understand something: I am an addict. I am also a former addict. How can this be, you ask? Simple. I have an addiction to nicotine that I am currently a slave to, but I've also kicked various other addictions in the past, including cocaine.
"But, Rob," you might say. "You are always going to be an addict! There is no getting better!"
Wrong.
The modern-day approach to treating addiction is exactly what causes people to say that, and what's worse is that they honestly believe every single syllable. This is a problem, because the programs that we force addicts in to and provide for those that truly want to get better are crap. I have said before that all they do is wear down a person's self-worth and convince them that they are sick and that there is no getting better. This is only half-true, and it's directly their fault. They talk up the first 12 steps of recovery (which, I might add, are designed to convert people into Christianity), but constantly neglect to mention the 13th step, which is as follows: Get the fuck over it.
You see, addiction is not the problem with those that develop it. Indeed, it is their attempt to solve the problem that leads to the addiction to begin with. If you cannot understand this simple concept, then you have no business attempting to lead others down the path of recovery yourself. It just cannot be done effectively.
Listen: I started doing various drugs and consuming more alcohol than what could be considered safe - much less reasonable - because I had a hole in my life. A big one. And I filled it with what was easily and readily available at any and all hours of the day: Substances.
I grew up as a social outcast. I had just two friends until I hit high school. I was that weird kid at recess who was never asked to join the soccer games or the kickball matches, or even to come play on the monkey bars. Even those regarded as the nerds and other rejects ostracized me. You all know the kid that I'm talking about. Hell, some of you might even be "that kid." That was totally me, and let me tell you, it fucking sucked.
Now, things didn't exactly get better for me until many moons later. Before then, I had to deal with my share of the shit that life shovels into your face if you dare come above ground for longer than it takes to get a breath of precious fresh air. I was taken away from my home (but only after the physical abuse ended), and ended up experiencing things that no child should ever have to endure. By the time that fiasco was done, I was a very angry and callous child. I wanted nothing to do with anybody. I had to come to terms with the fact that I was a damaged individual, and at the ripe old age of 11. To make matters worse, those that I went to school with regarded me as a ghost or some other kind of supernatural phenomenon that was better to be talked about in private circles than out in the open. It was disconcerting, to say the least.
It wasn't long before I started using escapism to cope. My choice to follow the path of addiction came subtly, at first, and it wasn't what you expect. Then again, what in life is?
Anyway, my first addiction was books. It changed - rather rapidly - from wanting only science fiction to branching out to mainstream and independent fiction, to start dabbling in literature and non-fiction, making the final leap into philosophy. I was - and still am - a voracious reader. It's not strange to find me reading two or more books at a time (I prefer a different book for each week day, in case you're curious). It was the final leap into the more... shall we say "exploratory" philosophers such as Timothy Leary and Terence McKenna that things took a turn that was awkward, and yet incredibly fun.
My very first drug was acid. I know it's not your typical gateway drug, but let me tell you: it was one hell of a gateway. After my very first experience - trying a mere two hits - I was fascinated. The connections that your mind can make after being introduced to that very special plane that one can only get after ingesting psychedelics.... well, that's another post for another time, not to mention that possible inappropriateness of unintentionally advocating the usage of psychoactive ingredients in a post that talks about getting over addiction.
So, after realizing that everything that I had learned about pretty much anything at all was complete and utter bullshit (yes, this is how I felt at the time that everything spiraled), I started experimenting with just about anything. To date, the only substances I haven't tried are (intelligently) the experimental ones that supposedly mimic the effects of the real thing, crack, and heroin. Rotten stuff, every one on that list, and any wise man would do well to stay far the hell away.
Anyway, so my addiction to escapism started to go. Soon, though, it became an addiction to the feeling of disconnect that comes with any form of intoxication. I was unknowingly trying to fill the hole in my life that was left there through not only the circumstances of upbringing and being practically friendless, but also my unwillingness to accept the fact that I was the one who put myself into this position to begin with due to my incapability of seeing how I could have done things different to better not only my situation, but myself, as well.
As addicts tend to be, I eventually went overboard. I developed a nasty habit with cocaine - a self-indulgent drug if there ever was one - and we all know the story from there. As much as I hate to say it, I became the stereotype coke head who couldn't handle it. Lost the girlfriend, the job, the home, the friends.... all that good stuff that we constantly take for granted.
A lot of people don't know this, but I went through the 12 steps. Not through any stupid organization that is meant to do nothing but perpetuate its own existence, but through the sheer power of God and the free will that He gave to all of us.
I'm not going to preach at you here, because again: That's not what this is about.
And, I think because I have done it this way, I realize that there is, indeed, a 13th step of getting over yourself, and now that the preamble is out of the way, we can get down to the real meat of the discussion.
My addictions - save for nicotine - various as they were, are a thing of my past. I realized something that I don't believe is possible in the "treatments" that we're forcing legitimately sick people into, and that's what the root cause of all of my problems was me. It wasn't something that I'm genetically predisposed to (something that a leading addiction medicine specailist is calling bullshit on anyway) or that I was a victim of circumstance or any of that other nonsense that people spout when it comes to this nonsense. At the end of the day, the problem was myself, and my inability to cope with terrible things that happened in my life, since I had very little in the way of being taught proper coping mechanisms, instead being allowed to indulge in other escapist behaviors that eventually led to drugs and their invariable abuse.
To anybody who has been/currently is in the "treatment" programs, let me ask you: How often do they ask you about your past? Your trauma?
And then we wonder why our current systems continue to fail, time and again. They are absolutely refusing to address the real causes of the problems that people are having. Rather than helping the addict travel the proper path to recovery, the one where there is a 13th step, they choose instead to take them down the path of those that are feeble. Rather than giving them the strength to face their trauma and get over it and realize that drugs or alcohol or sex or goats or newspapers or what-the-hell-ever is not the answer that they're looking for, and that depending on such things as a way to deal with it is not going to give them the peace that they seek.
Instead, they lie and cheat and manipulate those attending into thinking that they are worthless scum who will never get better. They choose instead to keep these people from getting better, truly, and brainwash them instead. And what's worse? Everyone thanks them for it.
My name is Rob, and I was an addict.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Social Disparities; or A Work Put Off
Whether or not you readers know this, I am a Feminist.
Now that I have your attention, let me explain, and try to avoid what is known as "mainsplaining" as much as I possibly can with my admittedly infantile knowledge of the movement as a whole. The best place that I can think of to start is the beginning.
Before I came to understand the Feminism movement as a whole, I, like many of you who would actually read this thing probably have/do, pictured a Feminist as something like this:
So, anyways. I wasn't ever exactly directly disrespectful towards women. Not knowingly, anyway. Thing is, I was a huge fucking asshole and never even realized it.
Up until running into a string of true Feminists - and not the loud ones that are just using Feminism as an excuse to spew hatred and ruining it for everybody else - who all blasted me for being a chauvinist, I had always considered myself "old-fashioned" in my dealings with women. Without ever realizing it, the way I dealt with women as a whole, from simple mannerisms as opening doors (more later this post, if I don't get too sidetracked) right down to the way that I would talk with them, was all perpetuating a gender role within society. "Old-Fashioned" is really just another way of saying "I'm stuck in a culture of prejudice."
Gender roles are, briefly, for those that aren't already in the know and somehow can't divine what I'm talking about when I say that term simply by how it's worded, are ways in which the system of privilege that our society currently operates on oppresses us into filling certain niches. Women are widely "known" to be the weaker of the two sexes, being far too emotional to think rationally or critically, and are therefore relegated to their gender roles of caretakers. Men are supposed to be the providers in our little system that we've constructed for ourselves. And by we, I mean men.
You see, any woman working in the professional world - regardless of its area - will tell you about the inequality that they face on a regular basis in the work environment. The facts, no matter how you want to view them, are still the facts. Specifically, men earn more than women, on average. Granted, there are a ton of variables that can explain these disparities, but at the end of the day, the numbers are what the numbers are.
"But wait a second, Rob!" you might say. "Women make choices differently than men do! There has to be some kind of explanation as to differences of jobs taken versus money earned!" And you'd be right to bring that up. It's been touched on before, and I'm sure you're still more than welcome to perform some digital necromancy on an old thread to throw in your two cents. But before that, I'd highly recommend getting to and reading very carefully paragraphs 5 and 6 in that article, and tell me what the problems are.
Here's a hint: There are men and women who do exactly what she describes in both paragraphs. For example, there are plenty of female prison guards throughout the country, even though it is still a male-dominated work environment. Every single thing that this woman writes while describing what men "gravitate" towards is just noise. That's all it is. She's doing nothing but perpetuating this system.
To make matters worse, as a society, we accept this, for the most part. Seriously. Just pay attention. How often do you hear someone make a joke at women's expense? Here's a good one: "Of course she didn't realize she just cut me off. She's a woman." Implying that because she's a woman, she inherently isn't observant enough to drive or had any business driving to begin with. This is a problem that goes by usually with a chuckle, but if you're perceptive enough, rarely ever in earshot of a woman (unless it's said in actual jest, but still).
Or, perhaps more recently, the debacle that was Seth MacFarlane's performance at the Oscar's. In a room full of talented women who worked hard to get to where they are today, and in an industry that is notorious - and even famous - for being a town full of misogynistic jerks with their heads so far up their own asses that their entire diet consists of the fecal matter that spews from their mouth. The last thing they need is to be reminded that millions of people everywhere saw their naked bodies. We're not talking even Feminism at this point, either. We're crossing the realm into the outright absurd amount of disrespect that we are constantly throwing at each other.
Don't get it? Well, think of it this way: We've all done things in our lives that we're not exactly proud of, but we do have our own justification for doing so. Do you ever appreciate someone bringing those things up to you, especially at a formal event? Then why would you accept it from someone else? Just because the guy is famous for acting like a 12 year old, you do need to keep in mind at all times that he is famous for acting like a fucking 12 year old.
As I mentioned earlier, the image of the stereotypical Feminist stands out in both sight and sound. Understand that these, truly, only make up a very small percentage of the Feminist population, from what I've seen. It's like comparing Westboro Baptist Church to all of Christianity and saying that they are good examples. They represent the extreme minority, and don't even come close to accurately depicting what their beliefs really are, choosing instead to use them as a conduit to spread a doctrine of hatred and intolerance.
Makes a little more sense now, doesn't it?
Look, I'm not asking you all to agree with me. What I'm asking you to do is maybe consider the idea that maybe, just maybe, there is perhaps more to this Feminism thing than just topics that make you uncomfortable talking about. If that's the case - and truly the case - then don't talk about it. You can easily find comprehensive literature from professional Feminists. Otherwise, at least consider that Feminism is, at it's very core, an idea of equality for all.
Now that I have your attention, let me explain, and try to avoid what is known as "mainsplaining" as much as I possibly can with my admittedly infantile knowledge of the movement as a whole. The best place that I can think of to start is the beginning.
Before I came to understand the Feminism movement as a whole, I, like many of you who would actually read this thing probably have/do, pictured a Feminist as something like this:
So, anyways. I wasn't ever exactly directly disrespectful towards women. Not knowingly, anyway. Thing is, I was a huge fucking asshole and never even realized it.
Up until running into a string of true Feminists - and not the loud ones that are just using Feminism as an excuse to spew hatred and ruining it for everybody else - who all blasted me for being a chauvinist, I had always considered myself "old-fashioned" in my dealings with women. Without ever realizing it, the way I dealt with women as a whole, from simple mannerisms as opening doors (more later this post, if I don't get too sidetracked) right down to the way that I would talk with them, was all perpetuating a gender role within society. "Old-Fashioned" is really just another way of saying "I'm stuck in a culture of prejudice."
Gender roles are, briefly, for those that aren't already in the know and somehow can't divine what I'm talking about when I say that term simply by how it's worded, are ways in which the system of privilege that our society currently operates on oppresses us into filling certain niches. Women are widely "known" to be the weaker of the two sexes, being far too emotional to think rationally or critically, and are therefore relegated to their gender roles of caretakers. Men are supposed to be the providers in our little system that we've constructed for ourselves. And by we, I mean men.
You see, any woman working in the professional world - regardless of its area - will tell you about the inequality that they face on a regular basis in the work environment. The facts, no matter how you want to view them, are still the facts. Specifically, men earn more than women, on average. Granted, there are a ton of variables that can explain these disparities, but at the end of the day, the numbers are what the numbers are.
"But wait a second, Rob!" you might say. "Women make choices differently than men do! There has to be some kind of explanation as to differences of jobs taken versus money earned!" And you'd be right to bring that up. It's been touched on before, and I'm sure you're still more than welcome to perform some digital necromancy on an old thread to throw in your two cents. But before that, I'd highly recommend getting to and reading very carefully paragraphs 5 and 6 in that article, and tell me what the problems are.
Here's a hint: There are men and women who do exactly what she describes in both paragraphs. For example, there are plenty of female prison guards throughout the country, even though it is still a male-dominated work environment. Every single thing that this woman writes while describing what men "gravitate" towards is just noise. That's all it is. She's doing nothing but perpetuating this system.
To make matters worse, as a society, we accept this, for the most part. Seriously. Just pay attention. How often do you hear someone make a joke at women's expense? Here's a good one: "Of course she didn't realize she just cut me off. She's a woman." Implying that because she's a woman, she inherently isn't observant enough to drive or had any business driving to begin with. This is a problem that goes by usually with a chuckle, but if you're perceptive enough, rarely ever in earshot of a woman (unless it's said in actual jest, but still).
Or, perhaps more recently, the debacle that was Seth MacFarlane's performance at the Oscar's. In a room full of talented women who worked hard to get to where they are today, and in an industry that is notorious - and even famous - for being a town full of misogynistic jerks with their heads so far up their own asses that their entire diet consists of the fecal matter that spews from their mouth. The last thing they need is to be reminded that millions of people everywhere saw their naked bodies. We're not talking even Feminism at this point, either. We're crossing the realm into the outright absurd amount of disrespect that we are constantly throwing at each other.
Don't get it? Well, think of it this way: We've all done things in our lives that we're not exactly proud of, but we do have our own justification for doing so. Do you ever appreciate someone bringing those things up to you, especially at a formal event? Then why would you accept it from someone else? Just because the guy is famous for acting like a 12 year old, you do need to keep in mind at all times that he is famous for acting like a fucking 12 year old.
As I mentioned earlier, the image of the stereotypical Feminist stands out in both sight and sound. Understand that these, truly, only make up a very small percentage of the Feminist population, from what I've seen. It's like comparing Westboro Baptist Church to all of Christianity and saying that they are good examples. They represent the extreme minority, and don't even come close to accurately depicting what their beliefs really are, choosing instead to use them as a conduit to spread a doctrine of hatred and intolerance.
Makes a little more sense now, doesn't it?
Look, I'm not asking you all to agree with me. What I'm asking you to do is maybe consider the idea that maybe, just maybe, there is perhaps more to this Feminism thing than just topics that make you uncomfortable talking about. If that's the case - and truly the case - then don't talk about it. You can easily find comprehensive literature from professional Feminists. Otherwise, at least consider that Feminism is, at it's very core, an idea of equality for all.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
A Modest Proposal; or The Death of a Sales Pitch
I've been arguing with myself recently. The argument has been between my heart - something that I have only recently begun listening to - and my mind, which is something that has been around and a comfort to me for as long as I can remember and usually as loyally as any other friend could possibly be. As a result, I have learned to think over feel and take the "rational" decision every time.
Understandably, this has led to several disputes in the past. Many of these have driven wedges between myself and those that I care about, mostly because I usually end up choosing the wrong option. Donna, you pointed out to me last night that I was doing it again, and if I kept doing it, it would drive a wedge between us. I may not have reacted as you wanted, but what you said sunk in.
You asked me if I was happy, and how I could know if I never really understood happiness to begin with. The answer is that you remind me what it is to be happy. With you, I feel complete.
Cheesiness aside, let me explain.
I was talking to a friend tonight, who has been in similar situations, and he advised me to be... well... me. What I mean is that he said the way he solved is to do what I realized I always do for everyone else but truly myself. He said to third-person perspective the stance and think about what really, truly matters in the relationship.
I did this - and promise to continue doing this - and I came to realize that I am happy with this relationship and know that I'm happy because when I look at us from this perspective, I find that I make you happy, for whatever reason, in ways that nobody ever could and probably ever will. I find myself confident in this, and that confidence is what lets me know that yes, I am indeed happy. In the words of Arthur Dent: Yes. Undoubtedly, unequivocally, unabashedly yes.
I love you, sweetheart, and I'm sorry that I was letting me get in the way of myself. I hereby promise to start working on changing all that. I'm not going to lie: It's going to take some time, but dammit, you're worth it, and so much more.
Donna, I was going to save this with some elaborate treasure hunt, but fuck it. I want you to know that I'm committed to this, and that you complete me in ways that no others ever could or will. I want you to marry me. Will you?
Understandably, this has led to several disputes in the past. Many of these have driven wedges between myself and those that I care about, mostly because I usually end up choosing the wrong option. Donna, you pointed out to me last night that I was doing it again, and if I kept doing it, it would drive a wedge between us. I may not have reacted as you wanted, but what you said sunk in.
You asked me if I was happy, and how I could know if I never really understood happiness to begin with. The answer is that you remind me what it is to be happy. With you, I feel complete.
Cheesiness aside, let me explain.
I was talking to a friend tonight, who has been in similar situations, and he advised me to be... well... me. What I mean is that he said the way he solved is to do what I realized I always do for everyone else but truly myself. He said to third-person perspective the stance and think about what really, truly matters in the relationship.
I did this - and promise to continue doing this - and I came to realize that I am happy with this relationship and know that I'm happy because when I look at us from this perspective, I find that I make you happy, for whatever reason, in ways that nobody ever could and probably ever will. I find myself confident in this, and that confidence is what lets me know that yes, I am indeed happy. In the words of Arthur Dent: Yes. Undoubtedly, unequivocally, unabashedly yes.
I love you, sweetheart, and I'm sorry that I was letting me get in the way of myself. I hereby promise to start working on changing all that. I'm not going to lie: It's going to take some time, but dammit, you're worth it, and so much more.
Donna, I was going to save this with some elaborate treasure hunt, but fuck it. I want you to know that I'm committed to this, and that you complete me in ways that no others ever could or will. I want you to marry me. Will you?
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