(in)secure

So, I find myself preparing for a trip out to California. The cause of this little adventure is because I am seeking out a new place to hang my hat in my never-ending search for the blessed Home. The effect, however, is unknown at this time.

I've been discussing this with my friend-neighbor - the flight, mostly - and he made a comment about expecting to be groped by the TSA. This, in turn, lead to the spark that is tonight's discussion.

Some people have cried havoc over the whole being groped by strangers thing. While I admit that it's more than just a little bit creepy, there really are things out there that are far, far worse.

But that's not really what I want to talk about. The last post that I made, I made a promise of getting more personal with you all, and I fully intend on delivering.

One of the biggest things that I was hearing around town when all of this was still the relevant "hot topic" of the news was that people were having a problem with being "felt up" by members of the same gender.

While being groped by a stranger is most certainly an anxiety-raising ordeal, that's not exactly what the people are having a problem with, always. The people who were subjected to horrible things - assuming that their complaints really had any merit - are backed by me 100%. It's the people that are cringing from it from some form of homophobia.

It's not that these people are bad people, really, but they are interesting. They aren't upset at the prospect of being groped by a stranger. If that stranger were a member of the opposite sex for these people, they'd be all about it and probably wouldn't mind so much. Why the double-standard?

The answer is simple: They're insecure.

Every single one of us has insecurities. That's just the way we are as people. The problem is, a lot of us like to pretend that those insecurities don't really exist. We go on and on and on acting like we know who we are and what we are, and the simple truth is, most of us really have no clue who we are.

Oh, you can't tell somebody that, of course. They get angry. And yet, they do absolutely nothing to recognize why the fault was pointed out to begin with. The reason for this is because of self-esteem, but I've already touched on that.

For example: I believe that we, as either a species or a society, I'm not entirely certain, are obsessed with violence. Having been denied our need to kill for our food supply thanks to becoming civilized, we all now have an inner bloodlust that lies just beneath every surface. To deny it is to be foolish, and yet most of us do it anyway.

Those who choose to ignore that part of themselves are not bad people, nor are they stupid. However, there is some part of them that is uncomfortable with the fact that this issue is there, so they try to suppress it. Problem is, this is a powerful thing and it will manifest itself in one fashion or another. When it does, they don't even react to it for what it is, and even subconsciously play it off as genuine concern. Ever hear the saying "it's like looking at a train wreck?"

There's a reason for that.

Using the train wreck analogy, these people will deny that they're looking for violence. Instead, they will use some excuse like "I'm trying to see if everybody's okay!"

Okay, first off, if I'm going to believe that for even a second, I'll need to ignore the fact entirely that if you passed these people on the street, you'd never even give them a second look (an upcoming topic, actually). Then, I have to ask the only question that the situation begs: What, exactly, are you looking for as signs of everyone not being okay?

When this kind of a question is asked in this kind of a situation, something happens within your psyche. You're suddenly called out into the open, and you're not okay with that, because you've been dragged outside of your shell and now have to come face to face with some nasty part of yourself that you don't like, but is always very much there.

You hear all the time while growing up that you're special and unique. While this is not true in most cases, it is true in the sense that quite literally there is nobody else out there that is you. Sure, there are people out there that might share the same personality quirks or sense of humor, or even an overall perspective on life. However, it's not just the positive side of you that makes you who you are - it's the negative, too.

The negative is what most people like to call "human nature." Others call it sin. No matter what nomenclature you choose, it all boils down this: we all have faults. There is no getting around it, and if you're going to start accepting what yours are, you need to start accepting all of them and not just the ones that you are willing to admit to others.

We all have secrets. We all have things about ourselves that we don't want anybody else to know, but then we project those insecurities onto others. We deny that we do or think or feel these things, and therefore are denying ourselves. Our subconscious, being what it is, knows that this isn't right and starts trying to tell your conscious mind what's what. However, we don't listen or we misinterpret what we're really thinking, and that plants the seed of hatred.

Guys... being hateful is a waste of time. Stop hating on those that have done absolutely nothing to you beyond maybe being a little different - be it through creed, sexuality, spirituality, politics, shoes, what that dangly thing in the back of your throat is called - and start focusing on why those things bother you so much. Is it really worth it to hate on someone and rob yourself of an opportunity of a good friendship?

Maybe you are this way, yourself, and don't realize it. That's okay. That doesn't make you a bad person, and I won't judge you. I can only just hope that maybe my words tonight have made a difference.

After all, you can't really say that you're secure with yourself if you haven't accepted yourself.



So, back to the TSA thing. I really am not looking forward to it, but if it happens, I know that they want to be doing it just about as much as I do, and that the less fuss I throw about it, the quicker it goes. At the friend-neighbor's behest, I might even start a conversation with one of them. Why not, after all?