Sunday, December 25, 2011

Observations of an Empty Holiday

As of this writing, it is officially Christmas day. The idea of this day being so beloved, to me, is a foreign concept entirely. There are so many traditions for it among the many cultures in the world that embrace it as a holy Christian holiday all have different ways of going about its celebration.

My father remarried a woman of Philipino persuasion. I'm not entirely sure if I spelled that right, but it doesn't matter. When he married her, he did so knowing about her four kids - all of whom I have personally accepted as family - before hand, and still did it.

Sidetrack: Say what you will about that situation, I know from experience what it is to go into that situation, and therefore know what it takes to do it.

This year, I decided to "celebrate," more than anything, finally not having anything to do after having to work long hours for the holiday season, with this extended and accepted family.

Now, I want to make this vehemently clear: I hate the holidays, and the entire holiday season. I have my own views - which I will discuss in a minute - with the very idea of Christmas, and what it has become.

Coming from outside of the usual norm of society in general, and not dealing well with people that, as a general rule, make me very nervous. This is a feeling that can only be achieved by being around family members.

Every Christmas, a huge meal is prepared. When I say huge, we're not exactly talking feast levels, but most certainly huge. There is fellowship, talking, laughing, and true bonding. And eating. Oh, dear God, is there ever eating. Overall, it's a very pleasant experience, and there is photographic evidence of me actually smiling in this situation.

And I'm not even talking one of those faked, forced smiles that you see all too often on Facebook, or in the face of a retail employee as they try and maintain friendly professionalism when either you or another is being a total pain in the ass. You've all seen the look at one point or another. I'm talking about a real, genuine smile.

Despite my anti-social tendencies, I tend to enjoy time around people that I love.

Then - and it always seems entirely too soon - the time comes to open the presents.

Now, I'm not entirely sure what it is, but when this time comes, these family members turn into ravenous dogs, and behave as such. The presents in their eyes must appear as delicious, delicious ham with the way that they begin behaving.

Rather than going into details, I'll leave it to your imagination to run with that analogy.

If nothing else, it's a perfect reminder of what Christmas is really about anymore, and that's the act of receiving more than that of giving. You give better to get better. It's a vicious cycle that does nothing more that I can see than to generate more money out of nowhere for some evil genius of a bastard that I somehow see in a three-piece suit, sitting behind a desk, fingers steeple-formed in front of an old face with a bald head. I'm sure it sounds stupid when you read it, but in my head, it's both terrifying and comical.

This holiday has been a sham since its inception, and while the concept of proper behavior before this holiday to receive reward but also to recognize it and give it in return is awesome as all hell, it hasn't been close to that in I don't even know how long. At least as long as Charlie Brown has been around, so at least as long as 50 years.

Most people don't know that the holiday of Christmas was built around a Pagan holiday, and that it was manipulated into the birthday of Christ so it was easier for the early Vatican to assimilate Pagans into Christianity; in the case of the fundamentalist right-wing cranks, they just simply refuse to accept it.

Seeing as how the biggest premise of this holiday is supposed to be the sense of companionship, family, friends, giving, and so on. Yet, every year, we hear of people going insane and harming others in their rush to get Black Friday deals. I'd like to say that at least no deaths have occurred over such behavior.

No, really. I would love to be able to say that not only without lying, but with a straight face. I can at least change the latter, and am working vigilantly to do so.

This isn't anything like it's supposed to be. It's become about greed. How many people do you know that were worried about Christmas presents for their kids? How many people do you know that complained of worries about their kids "not having enough" for Christmas? I'm sure it's quite a few.

At best, it's become a secular holiday that is rarely celebrated in its true spirit, and even those who do it are doing it under all the wrong reasons because of false belief.

At worst (read: right fucking now) it has become a part of a bigger machine run by conglomerates that have too much power, as far as I'm concerned. Some would say that it's a way for certain industries to quite literally make money, as in make it come from nothing.

No matter which way you looked at it, it makes celebrating this idea for anything other than what it is - a festival to human greed and the American love of over-ingesting anything to the point of excess - then you are doing nothing more than perpetuating the problem and not addressing the real issue, but rather feeding it: why you are such a consumer whore.

I'm not trying to rain on anyone's parade by saying any of this. I'm just kind of sitting here, on the outside of normal society as ever, and writing down what I see. And what I see is that Christmas has fallen a long way from what it used to be, and it's depressing.

As much as I would love to continue this, I find myself falling asleep at this little laptop thingie.

Enjoy your Pagan holiday.

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